I'm Glad You're Dead: Preternatural Chronicles Book 1

My name is John Cook and my life began the day my heart stopped beating. This one time at prison camp I was offered the chance for sweet finger-licking-good revenge and all it cost me was my immortal soul. But I got that thing for free so no biggie. Right? Right?! Now I'm a crisp young five-centuries-old vampire with a terminal case of snark and a brain full of obscure pop culture references just waiting to spew from my bearded mouth at any sign of social interaction...and run-on sentences. But more importantly I've come to the realization that one day I will die and my soul is just dripping with the thick tar of sin. Between you and me this preternatural dad-bod isn't suited for the flames of Hell. So if I can find a way to avoid making Samael my landlord when I kick the bucket that'd be greaaaat. But what is one of the last vampires on Earth supposed to do? Enter Father Thomes a modern-day priest in Houston who taught me to use my