TO: Cleo Jones FROM: Elijah Abrams SUBJECT: Happy Holidays WTF I woke up with a mild hangover and an alarm notification that said “Check attachment in email Cleo sent to herself from my phone Dummy.” Your video proof of me offering you a temporary assistant job over the holidays seems legit. The payment amount I agreed to was outrageous. However I have a deadline to meet. Having already fired seven temps this week I am inclined to give this a shot assuming you are willing to start today. Please don’t wear that saucy elf costume speak in rhyme or act all festive. P.S. I apologize for the confusion caused by my son’s good intentions. He knew nothing of our former acquaintance and film school rivalry. But thanks for playing along. TO: Elijah Abrams FROM: Cleo Jones SUBJECT: And a very merry good morning to you sir! To your non-festive requests I must say nay!